Slumps don't bother me until they affect my bank balance: Manoj Bajpayee

Critically acclaimed actor Manoj Bajpayee won his first National Award for Satya (1998) and since then has worked in a number of films — some worked well and some went unnoticed. However, Bajpayee says that these slumps don't bother him until it starts reflecting in his bank balance.

Present at the first edition of the Literature, Information, Film, Frame, TV and Theatre (LIFFT) India Filmotsav 2017 World Cine Fest, on Monday, 4 September, for an impromptu discussion on his journey in the film industry, Bajpayee shed light on his take on the concept of highs and lows he has experienced in the film industry since the time he shifted to Mumbai after Bandit Queen in 1994.

"Lows bother me when I see my bank balance reducing. Other than that, it really doesn't bother me. If you are seeking for someone else's approval that is your low, if you are not, then that is your high," said Bajpayee at the festival.

"When I was a child, I kept this dream of becoming an actor close to my heart, I think that was the training that happened in my childhood. I was not seeking the approval of anybody in that village, in the family. The dream was mine and I chased it, I am still chasing it and I will keep on chasing it," added the 48-year-old actor.

After his legendary performance as Bhiku Mahatre in Satya, Bajpayee worked in films which went unnoticed like Kaun (1999), Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar!! (2000) and Hanan (2004), among others.

He says the roles that he played were his own choice and it was a well thought out decision as opposed to some beliefs that he made 'wrong' decisions.

"I knew that I would not be able to sustain that euphoria from Satya. Because my choices are going to be very different and very risky. The choices after that were very risky. Sometimes, I wanted to be in the flow, sometimes I wanted to be completely experimental," said Bajpayee, who will next be seen in Tabrez Noorani's Love Sonia and Neeraj Pandey's Aiyaary.

"I was very sure... No mainstream actor wanted to touch the role of Prince Victor in Zubeidaa. I was chosen to do that role. It was a complete risky proposal for me. I went with the thought that the Bhiku Mahatre kind of euphoria may or may not happen. It is very difficult when you are choosing a path which is completely unconventional and not mainstream. Some worked and some did not. I always say that I made my career out of flop films," he added.