Not sure if Nihalani even watches most of the films: Babumoshai Bandookbaaz writer

The current Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC), led by filmmaker Pahlaj Nihalani, has courted controversy for its strict approach to content which it deems to be vulgar, or controversial. Rumour has it that Nihalani has prepared a list of do's and don'ts. On several occasions, the very mention of objectionable words or actions has incurred the wrath of the CBFC, who have flatly refused to certify the film. Movies like Udta Punjab (2016), Lipstick Under My Burkha (2017), Raman Raghav 2.0 (2016), to name a few, have been at the receiving end.
 
Today, unheralded filmmaker Kushan Nandy has been told to make 48 cuts if he wants his dark comedy, Babumoshai Bandookbaaz, to get a theatrical release. The film has been scheduled to hit the screens on 25 August. The film has been penned by Ghalib Asad Bhopali, son of the famous lyricist Asad Bhopali. Ghalib has worked on a few films earlier, most notably writing dialogues for Arbaaz Khan’s Wajahh: A Reason to Kill (2004). He was also the writer of the popular TV super hero show Shaktiman. It’s with Babumoshai Bandookzbaaz though that Ghalib is perhaps eyeing a marque moment in his film career. The film, starring Nawazuddin Siddiqui, is facing a huge battle to secure a release. 
 
In a long telephonic conversation with Cinestaan.com, Bhopali talks about subjects like the team's struggle with CBFC, how a couple of members allegedly ill-treated producer Kiran Shyam Shroff, why Nawazuddin was the perfect choice to play the titular role and more. 
 
Excerpts.
 
You have Ghalib in your name. The CBFC has refused to certify your film if you don’t make 48 cuts. One shouldn't be saying this, but at this hour is there any shayari that springs to your mind that looks at the lighter side of the problem? 
 
(laughs) Well, there is none that comes to mind. I couldn’t think of one when it was happening, nor when few days have passed by. I’m stunned as to how people judge a film without understanding it’s theme and simply want to ban it. 
 
Joke apart, the CBFC wants 48 cuts. If you incorporate those then what will be left of the film?
 
You take out the soul then what will be left of the body? The problem though is that they’ve judged the film from a different yardstick. From audio to video, depth of the character, reality, they advocated all kinds of cuts. They probably expect it to be an imaginary or fantasy film. If we make the cuts then it just becomes a short film. 
 
What has been the major cause for CBFC's grievances?

Based on the way they reacted, their primary bone of contention is the language. They just haven’t seen the context as to why such language has been used. I believe they have a list of words which they just don’t want to hear at all. Now why these words are there in the film? In what context are they used? They are simply not concerned with that. To them, these words should simply not be existing in the film. What baffles us is that once a film is certified for adults, you are still insisting that profanity should not be heard by adults. This line of thinking is beyond our understanding. 
 
Filmmakers have been fighting with the current CBFC to get their film cleared, but your film is on a different collision course with some sensational allegations made against certain CBFC members. The CBFC has hit back saying that Babumoshai makers are maligning their image. 
 
We ourselves are hurt with the things that have transpired. After watching the film, the committee called us hours later. We were made to look like school kids with the teacher about to reprimand us. Earlier, filmmakers fought to get U/A certification. The CBFC then asked filmmakers to chop off adult content or else their films would would given Adult rating. There were very few film that ended up getting A certificate. Now, it’s a different battle altogether. You are asked to cut even after getting an A certificate. On top of that you’re told to chop or else face the ban. 
 
Was Pahlaj Nihalani present then? 
 
No, he wasn’t there. Mr Nihalani doesn’t come into the initial process. There were five members who has watched the film. 
 
Would you like to tell what exactly happened that day?

We tried initiating a conversation with them, but then one of the female members from the committee of five told our producer Kiran Shyam Shroff that why being a woman she made such a film? There was one gentleman who then came up with the shocking remark that 'yeh aurat nahin, yeh toh pant shirt pehenkay aayi hai?' We just didn’t know how to react then? We didn’t want it become personal and so we just ignored these remarks. Soon we realised that it was pointless discussing with them as they were least interested in it. They just issued a diktak that we have to obey them if we are to get our film certified
 
I don’t understand the process behind the way they judge a film. I don’t know how well qualified these people are. Do they understand the language that is used in our film? They had reservation to the word ghanta. I asked them whether we can replace the word ghanta with thenga, and they okayed it. I then asked them do they know the meaning of thenga? The word thenga can have different connotations. We also use the word kohda (pumpkin). Be it thenga, kohda, or ghanta, all of them would mean the same in the context which these words are spoken. I'm of the view that they had list of words that can’t be used. 
 
The current CFBC gives an impression that it has a liking for family entertainers, whereas any explicit or profane content is perceived to be unsuitable for theatrical viewing. Given that your film has sexual content and profanity, this collision was bound to happen.
 
I don’t think that is the case. Morality is not a virtue for judging. If it was then how come the CBFC has cleared films that are laced with innuendos? I wouldn’t like to name those films which were cleared, some of the them were given given U/A certificate. The CBFC seems to have problem more with the language. Yes, we had anticipated that our film will probably be certified A. Whilst shooting we had taken precaution that our film doesn’t veer towards vulgarity. If I recall, Rani Mukerji’s character in No One Killed Jessica (2011) says, “g****a phat gayi kya”. We took out the first word and yet we were asked to chop it. We had toned down in the hope that the CBFC will not have objection. 
 
So, I reckon the major grievance was with he language. But what about the sexual scenes? 
 
They used the word humping while advocating cuts in the love making scenes. No, that’s altogether a different issue, but they wanted 80% of the love making scenes chopped out. We told them it is not humping, but love making. My concern though is that most of the committee members seem to have the same thought process. Five people are too less to represent a nation of 1.2 billion people. We need to have different opinions, different cultures in the committee too. There have to be varied views, only then would it be a discussion. After that a decision should be taken by a majority. 
 
Creative freedom is one's right but there is also a school of thought that profanity and sexual content doesn’t necessarily help make a good film. Do you agree? 
 
Yes, we do come across such views too. We questioned ourselves, “whether have we made some dirty picture? Have we incorporated profanity, sex to sell our film? It is a fair point too for there have been filmmakers who have used sex, profanity to market their film, but there’s no substance to them. The audience feels cheated by such films. I can assure you that our film is not like that. I once saw a film scene where the actors are discussing, “how many kind of c******s exist? I just couldn’t understand what was the logic behind having such a dialogue?  
 
Look, our story is about a rural Bihari hitman. He would kill people merely for Rs5000 and half of it would go to the police as bribe. Babumoshai belongs to a lower section of the society where the people are rustic; they don’t speak in the most cordial manner. People need to identify with such characters. As a filmmaker, you have to adopt a realistic approach. The great writer Manto had said that if you find my work dirty, then sadly my writing is just a reflection of our society. We’ve tapped into an society which is dirty so why do we shy away from this reality. 
 
The film's release has its own story, but what’s the story behind penning Babumoshai Bandookbaaz? 

I had conceived the idea five years ago. Kushan Nandy was the first and the last person that I discussed this story with. I told him that here is a character who carries a lota (pot) and radio to the jungle. He kills for merely Rs5000, half of it goes to the local cop as bribe. Initially, we just had a character in mind. We thought an interesting story can be weaved around this character.  After brain storming, we honed in on a script three years ago. 
 
Was Nawazuddin Siddiqui always the first choice to play Babumoshai Bandookbaaz? 
 
He was our first and the last choice. We needed someone who has a realistic approach to the character. Nawaz bhai is a versatile actor. However, I didn’t think of any actor when I had conceived the character. But as we went along scripting, we had envisioned Siddiqui as Babumoshai. In fact, while writing the lines, Kushan Nandy used to imagine how Nawazuddin would speak such a line. 
 
As seen from the trailer, Babumoshai Bandookbaaz is described as stylebaaz, randibaaz, naatakbaaz. These words are often used to describe Ian Fleming’s popular character James Bond. Would it be wrong to say that somewhere Babumoshai Bandookzbaaz has a desi Bond in him? 
 
Gun and girls galore in James Bond. He has a licence to kill, which Babumoshai too has. Girls and guns are his passion. The thought process for the two is same. We wondered though if a hitman from an Indian village is to follow the lifestyle of a Bond, how would that be? Babumoshai though isn’t like any Bond-like character that we have seen in other Hindi films before. 
 
If I look at your filmography, you’ve largely worked on crime thrillers. Over the years, this genre has lost its appeal. It’s perhaps become monotonous. Where do you think our filmmakers are going with this genre? 
 
The problem doesn’t lie with the genre per se but with the predictable story telling. Earlier, you had few crime thrillers - TV series on Doordarshan and a few films. Now you have many TV channels, which are exploring the genre, both in fiction as well dramatising real crime plots. Monotony has crept in, and thus, to make a film on this genre is a difficult task. Mystery, thrills can be part of your story, but there has to be depth to your story. The mystery has to unravel slowly. In 2012, we had Vidya Balan’s Kahaani. That was full of mystery. The mystery only unravels in the end, changing the whole landscape of the story. Post that there hasn’t been any interesting crime thriller.  
 
Your late father, the great Asad Bhoplai saab, penned over 400 songs spanning over 100 films... 
 
He wrote many more. Some recordings were engulfed in fire in recording studios, while many films or songs were not released.  From the time that I can recall, he has worked with other famous music directors too, before he collaborated with Usha Khanna. He’s worked with new music directors. Probably, he enjoyed more creative freedom with Usha ji. 
 
One of his last work was Maine Pyar Kiya (1989). What memories do you have of him working on the classic? 
 
I was in my college then. I did go to the sets on a few occasions. People admired his work. From what I’ve heard, he was said to be pretty good at writing mukhda (intros) like a machine. He could produce different versions to one mukhda. You wondered whether he had a treasure chest full of alternate words. There were just two people with such skills. One Asad Bhoplai, the other was Ravindra Jain.
 
Today when I read about the great man, it is also written that, as good as he was, he could never match the success and fame of the likes of Jan Nisar Akhtar, Majrooh Sultanpuri and Rajendra Krishan. Did he ever share any grievances about such things? 
 
Right from the time you are a child, you are judged by the class system; who stood first, who came second. Success depends upon a whole lot of things. You may have written a great song, but if it’s not composed or picturised well, then the poem doesn’t get too much respect. My father though never got affected by such criticism. He never got an award until Maine Pyaar Kiya came along. (Asad Bhopali got the best lyricist award for the track 'Dil deewana'). He often said that ones work can never be judged by others.
 
When you are married to a journalist, I guess your wife becomes the first to critic to your work. 
 
Yes, there is lot of criticism. Seldom do husbands get praise from their wives.  Usually, she is the first to comment on your work. She has liked all the songs that I’ve penned for Babumoshai Bandookbaaz. 
 
So, have you written many poems for her? 
 
Well, I used to write poems before but I then concentrated more on scripting. It is my wife who often reminds me that I need to write songs to carry forward the family legacy. Well, she has really liked the Barfani song. Now that I’ve spoken of it, I want to draw your attention to the reservation that CBFC had with it. According to them, the content is adult. You’re not allowed to talk about intimacy. An adult song cannot be played on TV or radio. For the TV viewing, we had to change the visuals as they thought that we are showing sex. But they still wanted to ban the song totally.
 
There have been talks that there could be a change of head at CBFC.
 
Well, more than the chairman you wish that there is a change in the way one appoints the five-people committee. Pahlaj Nihalani ji probably doesn’t even see most films. There is no way that one makes personal remarks.